JAM

I dropped my guitar yesterday.

Basically, it went something like this: I walked into the room holding the guitar and patch cable, and the strap (from my old guitar) slipped off the tail and it smacked the ground pretty hard. The three people in the room (including me) yelled for a moment before going on with the

It all started when I was late for a huge stadium gig 5 miles away. The problem was, the streets were empty and public transit was shut down because everyone was already at the gig. So I ran there, carrying the guitar on my back. When I finally stepped on stage (15 minutes later) the stadium exploded into applause.

Suddenly ninjas dropped from the sky, emerged from the crowd and circled me like a swarm of rats, brandishing swords and nunchaku and pointy stars and handguns and other menacing weapons. Everyone gasped. Somebody fainted. I saw murder in their eyes; I had no choice but to wield the guitar like the axe it was.

As they rushed me, I swung the guitar wildly, snapping bones, splitting skulls, lunging and dodging and spinning in a frenzied cacophony of musical justice. One by one they fell—until the last ninja, in a burst of rage, launched into the air, sword held high, and swung it down in a desperate arc—with all my might I hurled my guitar at the sword, and as steel met wood, the axe hit a single thunderous power chord, so righteous that his sword shattered into a million pieces and he instantly died.

Everyone started to cheer, but then the guitar crashed to the floor, exploded, burst into flames with a roaring fireball reminiscent of the sun, and everyone screamed.

~ ~ ~

In other news, does anyone have wood sealer/superglue/clear nail polish I could use to cover up theoretical exposed wood on a theoretical chipped guitar?